Best Of Craigslist

So, longrooffan@aol.com enjoys a free AOL account. I am comfortable with AOL, as I am with Internet Explorer. I know there are better accesses to these tubes but these are the ones I learned initially and I am willing to put up with their shortcomings due to my being familiar with their inner workings.

Now with this free AOL account, I don't enjoy the ability to delete selective emails, it is either all or nothing. Well, I had retained over 600 emails and AOL kept prompting me to "Clean Up My Mailbox", every time I logged on. Well, there are some email I wanted to keep...the one from thehorsefarmer about his arm rest on his ole Bronco, the one from my the traffic school approving my completion of that course, and, among others, the one from TheGoodAttorney explaining the process for becoming a Certified Registered Contractor.

I know I could have moved these over to "Saved Mail" but that file is reserved for really good emails, such as the one I got from my daughter telling me how much she loved me.

So the only recourse I had was to delete each one by checking the box beside it, enmass, and then clicking delete.

I am glad I chose to execute this deletion this way as I was able to sporadically review a bunch of emails and I stumbled upon, no not Stumble Upon, stumbled upon this one I had saved for a potential blog.

So, anyway, over at Craigslist.com, they have, on their sidebar, The Best Of Craigslist. I find many of those ads pretty humorous, and thought as they included this one as one of the best, this olelongrooffan thought it worthy of your consideration. Sorry, no pics but this is an image the item in question.

1978 Triumph Spitfire

Runs surprisingly well,

Transmission shifts nice,

Brakes work well,

Passes inspection,

All lights, wipers and horn function,

Minimal rust, solid rockers, good floor,

It's a 20-footer. Lots of dings and hickies but complete,

Originally had the rubber bumpers until chrome bumpers from an earlier car were installed,

The alloy wheels are Minilite copies called Minator also made in England. The tires are good condition Kumho.

The paint is dull so this could be a good beginner's painting project.

The convertible top isn't perforated and has clear windows.

Unless I happen to fix it prior to selling, the driver's door opens from the outside handle only, the passenger side only from the inside.

The horn honks like it has a frog in its throat.

I have no idea how many miles are on this car as the odometer has never worked.

It marks its territory with a few drops of oil, doesn't smoke and has good oil pressure.

The gauges all work, the dash lights illuminate, the heater blows hot in any season.

The driver's seat needs upholstery repair.

It comes with a tonneau cover to cover the cockpit without putting the top up.

Learn the art of "Shabby Chic". Most people having a mid-life crisis blow a king's ransom on a Porsche Boxster or late 60's Stingray - or - grow the obligatory cliche goatee + big gut and buy a Harley.

We both know you're not that lacking in creativity.

You want a car that says you take the less trodden path, that you're mechanically inclined and that you like to park anywhere without concern for door dings or theft.

Voila!

Here's your car: pre-dinged and invisible to car thieves,

the thrill of top-down British motoring at a sub-Geo Metro price.

You won't have to wear a bag over your head with this $2K purchase.

Cheapskates rejoice: register it as an antique for once-every-5-years renewals, and no inspections.

Surprisingly, insuring this car is peanuts.

Buyer's Guide for the Married Man (or) How To Justify Buying My Car to a Significant Other

There's no rational justification for buying this car so you'll need to stretch the truth.

For example if you're a one-car household you could say it's the second car for commuting to a nearby employer or for getting groceries.

You and I both know your employer doesn't look favorably on iconoclasts in tiny cars who arrive late and blame dodgy Lucas electrics.

We also know that this is the wrong car for trips to Costco,

but it's all about the S.O. (significant other) at this point.

You can call it an economy car as it's a 1500cc 4-cylinder car that weighs about as much as a full dress Harley Davidson so your nose won't go Pinocchio on this point.

You could also point out you've upped your life insurance to a cool $1 million dollars and this car doesn't have air bags & sits at the height of a big rig's lug nuts.

Think outside the box.

You can do it.

Working together we are a team.

(Bonus points: this car played a role in the unraveling of a particularly dumb marriage, and for that I am glad. I should keep it as a memento but feel it might help some other trapped person break the bonds of a loveless relationship.)