Can You Come Be My Wife?

Yeah I know. It has been awhile since this olelongrooffan has posted anything here on By The Numbers. But as the Bus says, "Hey, I've Been Busy."

A couple weeks ago, this olelongrooffan was on the receiving end of a distress call from a great, long time friend who needed some assistance from this longrooffan. Yeah it was my friend Kris, who I have previously blogged about. If those of you Counting Along With Me remember, while a great friend, she is not just that into me.



As it turns out, four months ago Kris had accepted a position as the Operations Manager for her brother's upscale cosmetic surgery practice down in toney Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. Regular Counters will remember what else happened down in that super high end community.



For the first three months she was there she stayed with her brother and family in their McMansion, finally getting a condo of her own about 6 weeks ago. She moved a couple beds and a couple dressers down from her place in MickeyMouseLand leaving the remainder of her furnishings in the care of one of her five sons in that condo. Now Kris is working 9 to 8 every day of the week and prior to getting her new place, she commuted back to the Big O for the weekends. Since she moved into her new place, she has spent her weekends furniture and car shopping.



Yeah, her brother thinks an 03 Acura TL with a few teenage boy dents in it is not befitting her position and wants her to "step up" to a Mercedes or BMW.



Now, after living there with no furniture, barely a TV and a solitary life post work, Kris was at wits end. She invited her daughter in law, Ali, down for the weekend and while having a picnic in her vacant living room on Sunday afternoon, Ali suggested Kris contact this olelongrooffan to see if I could come down and help her make some decisions.



Ironically, on that fateful Monday evening during Happy Hour on the sprawling veranda at the Taj Mahal, this olelongrooffan was lamenting to thejeepjunkie that I needed a couple weeks work prior to heading out to Denver to work on my buddy Justin's new "John Lee" home. (More on that trip in another post.) So anyway, thejeepjunkie and TheGoodAttorney head out to do whatever they do after Happy Hour and this olelongrooffan heads in to fix up a bit of grub and check out these interwebs.

A little later the massive communications center of the Taj Mahal lights up and it is my friend Kris. She fills me in on her life, or lack thereof, and asks me what is going on in the life of this olelongrooffan. I filled her in and then she drops a bombshell. "Can you come down and be my wife for a couple weeks? I really need some help." Well as those of You Counting Along With Me will know, you just do things when friends or family is in need.

As an aside from this tale, this olelongrooffan is listening to the Nationwide race on the MotorRacingNetwork and just heard our National Anthem sung and stepped outside to catch the two Air Force F-5's do their fly over of the Taj Mahal.  F*ck Yeah!

So I commented to Kris this olelongrooffan would be in the Gardens the next day around 3 or so. And I was. She was floored that I was available so quickly but in all honesty, I was excited to see her again. It had been too long.



Upon arrival, I dropped Kris a text and she and I met up outside the Barnes and Noble I was hanging at then went to her new condo. She spent a few minutes showing me around the place and relating her ideas about what she wanted to do and was looking to me for my input. We chatted it up a bit more then she had to head back to the office. But before she left, she pressed a cool grand in my hand. I was shocked and asked her what this olelongrooffan was going to spend a thousand dollars on. "Oh, you'll need it, here is my list."

And like the dutiful wife I was to become, I checked the contents of her frig and pantry and headed over to BBB's favorite Whole Foods competitor to stock up on rations for our nourishment, as well as some organic wine for Kris and some hurricane supplies for this olelongrooffan.

That first evening when Kris arrived home from work around 9, we got fully caught up with each other over a delicious meal of blackened mahi, parmesan cheese covered asparagus and a loaded tossed salad.

And Counters, this olelongrooffan spent the past two weeks at Kris's beck and call. The first week I spent buying, picking up, assembling and returning the furniture she had picked out over the past month. And cooking dinner every night, preparing her morning coffee, cleaning her dusty condo, ironing her slacks, doing laundry...just doing the old time wifey things she needed to get done so she could deal with her stressful job. It was a blast!

The next week I spent buying clothes for her approval and this olelongrooffan had a batting average of .307 approval rating so I felt pretty good about that average.



That is my old Comanche hanging out with an Audi A6, a Range Rover and a Mercedes while out picking up some Father's Day cards for Kris's approval for her dad.



While down at Home Goods looking for accessory pillows, I spotted this sweet Mercedes and at the local



gourmet market picking up some organic corn chips, I spotted this 67 Caddy daily driver for the chef at that boutique restaurant.

Last weekend we spent test driving Audi's, Mercedes, BMWs, Cadillacs, and Acuras. While Kris decided to postpone her car buying decision to a time in the future when she has fully settled into her new condo,



This olelongrooffan would be very happy with this vintage Toyota Cressida longroof.

And know this, being in a position to help a friend this past couple of weeks prior to heading to the mountains to be of assistance to another really allows this olelongrooffan to

Celebrate Life.

I Blame thejeepjunkie For This

This olelongrooffan has previously shared with those of you Counting Along With Me about my acquiring a few Tonka Corvettes the day my Comanche decided it had driven enough.

Well, since those Vettes, on ebay, brought in more than four times what this olelongrooffan paid for them, thejeepjunkie thought I might be on a roll and gave me a set of air suspension bags for a Ford E-350 van to ebay for some cash for shop supplies.

He acquired these when one of his customers, who races car in the feeder series for ALMS, wanted to upgrade the hauling capacity of his box E350.  Alas, these were not big enough for him and he had thejeepjunkie order yet another larger set.  thejeepjunkie was the kind recepient of these and they are being listed this evening, although the images of it were taken a couple days ago.

Why the delay in listing these, probably $150 bags I can hear you Counters out there asking?

Sometimes this olelongrooffan thinks I could live on this road.  I captured this image on my Road Trip for Mom someplace between the Birthplace of Speed and the Queen City of the Ozarks a couple years ago.  I captured this image as a couple days previous this olelongrooffan had cut the sh*t out of my forehead on an overhead door on my, then, storage unit.

Well Counters, Monday evening as this olelongrooffan was carrying that box of bags back into the Taj Mahal, the screen door at the front door caught some wind and

caught me right on the forehead, just above my left eyebrow.  It hurt like h*ll on Monday and Tuesday morning I woke up to this face in the mirror!  The swollen knot where the door hit me is almost gone but it is still tender.  I wonder how long this olelongrooffan is going to look like I received the business end of Mohammad Ali's right hook?

And why does this olelongrooffan blame thejeepjunkie?  Well, if he had shown up for Happy Hour on Monday, he could have held that door open while I carried his box of bags back into the Taj Mahal.

But ya know what?  Having a fruitful day in the flea market and on ebay, having a box of bags to ebay, and still having those Japanese tin cars to ebay sure helps this olelongrooffan to

Celebrate Life.

Well, Counters, I Can't Believe It!

So this olelongrooffan has been on the job as a dishwasher for Bethune-Cookman's cafeteria for nine working days.

During this time I have been referred to as a "grain of salt in a huge pepper shaker", "the 'token' whitey", "the best ice getter yet", the "You are the only guy I am working the wheel with", and finally got a "F*ck Mr. John" from the man I refer to as "thecrazyguy", much to the amusement of my co-workers. But that latter comment would only be a problem if the guy was respected by anyone. But "thecrazyguy" works his b*tt off, even though he always talks to noone in particular.

But it is all fun. This olelongrooffan takes no offense because "I Have A Job." And I can always get a laugh from them by some comment they have not heard before.

"My Momma didn't raise no fool" is one. Especially when that comment is followed up with "Well, she did, but it is my brother!"

Well, yesterday as this olelongrooffan was working the Detroit induced, never ending "wheel" full of dirty dishes with Cat, who likes all things with that name, (I actually call her girlie even though she is represents nothing girlie, which, of course, is why she has that name and even likes it)....anyway, the Big Boss, Miss Roberts comes around the corner, hollers my name and I turn to her. She says, "Come see me in my office when you have a moment."

Of course, "Yes, Miss Roberts," immediately comes out of the mouth of this olelongrooffan.

Cat says, "Somebody saw you steal that biscuit from the bakery room."

"Girlie, if someone saw me steal that biscuit, I would be in Miss Roberts office right now."

TheCrazyMan says " Are you parked in the right place?" See what I mean?

Anyway, having spent many years in personnel management, I knew something was up and this olelongrooffan didn't believe I was in any trouble.

Hold on, it is 9:45 on a Saturday evening and the fireworks are going off down on the beach and this olelongrooffan needs to step outside to take a moment to Celebrate Life.

Counters, this olelongrooffan is back. Man!! That is a cool show and it lasts about fifteen minutes, every Saturday night. Always a joy to see although I don't particularly like fireworks on a first hand basis.

So anyway, the girlie and this olelongrooffan are working the "wheel" and finally a lull in the action occurs and she tells me to go see what Miss Roberts wants.

And I do.

Miss Roberts brings me into her office, closes her door, and, at this time, I mention "Why do I feel that I am getting called to the Prinicpal's office?"

And she just cracks up laughing. And I mean a hearty, big black woman eminating, deep throated laugh.

"Now I know why everyone likes you."

What a compliment from my Boss of nine days.

The jist of the conversation is that she wants to know if this olelongrooffan likes working?

"Well, Miss Roberts, I hate standing around looking for something to do."

"Mr. John," yeah, she calls me that too, "Mr. Williams and I want to move you into a superviser position in the dish room and work through both shifts. Is that something you are interested in?"

My reply was, "Miss Roberts, whatever you tell me to do, I'll do it. If you would like me to wash pots (the lowest of the low), I'll do it. Clean ovens for Chef Pam, I am there. I am just happy to have a job."

"That's what I thought," she replied.

So we get to chatting it up about our backgrounds and just, generally getting to know each other.

"Miss Roberts, while this olelongrooffan is just a total rookie in this industry and, while I have a great deal of knowledge about the Hispanic culture, I have not worked with, basically any, African Americans, I have made a few observations. In the construction industry, I was always looking to contain costs.

May I relay to you a couple thoughts?"

"Please do," was her response.

So I mentioned a few things that could contain costs and they were well received by her and, I believe, may actually be enacted a short time in the future.

One of the things I mentioned was the exorbanent use of paper napkins by those college students.

Miss Roberts commented that those kids waste a bunch of napkins.

I commented that if the napkin dispensers were removed from each and every table and relocated to a more central location, off of each table, the use of those paper napkins would, most likely, diminish.

After all, do you Counters remember when there was a chrome napkin dispenser on every table at a fast food establishment but now they are centrally located?

What works for McDonald's would work for Gourmet Services.

This olelongrooffan suggested it happen between Thanksgiving and Christmas break so there would be definitive period of time to record any savings. Plus, if you did it tomorrow, the kids would recognize the change and complain, but after their return from Thanksgiving break they probably wouldn't even notice.

I take my leave of Miss Roberts, as she has tons of stuff to do that has nothing to do with this olelongrooffan and return to the dish room.

So I got back there and offer my hand to the girlie saying "It has been fun but I am outahere."

She looks at me in wonderment and I can't help but to break up laughing.

She asXed, sorry justed getting into the lingo, she asked me what Miss Roberts wanted.

As the girlie has been at that cafeteria for pret-near four years, I was reluctant to tell her.

But I did.

She said, "You takin' it, right?"

"Well, girlie, I feel bad, you been here four years and I've been here a week. I kinda feel bad about it."

Her response? "Are you stupid, Boy? They didn't offer it to me cuz they thought you could do a good job! Get all over it!"

So that was it. The one who rules over the dish room just gave me her approval.

But this olelongrooffan was worried about the two young men I worked with, Speedy and Happy, so named by me, and the names of whom were approved by the girlie. Yeah, either of these dudes could kick my *ss to the curb without breaking a sweat.

As it turns out both of them are excited as h*ll for me as they don't have to accept any more responsibility.

"Just let me know what you want me to do, Mr. John," was each of their responses.

Now, the interesting part of this, (at least to this olelongrooffan) Miss Roberts has not made an official announcement of my new duties. The only person to have told anyone is my girlie.

And today at work, all the staff in the dish room came to me to look for what to do next.

And know Counters, this olelongrooffan had the knowledge to suggest their next duties.

So here this olelongrooffan is, the dish room supervisor for the cafeteria at Bethune-Cookman University and with just another reason to

Celebrate Life.

795 Days

Early on the morning of Tuesday, April 22, 2008, this olelongrooffan was sitting on the back porch of that two story condo I lived in over in Slocala, Florida. I was enjoying a hot cup of Joe and reading the news on the starbanner.com website when my cell phone rings. It was Alex, an employee and coworker of mine at a home interior design firm, calling to tell me that Brian, the owner of the company, was here from his office around 100 miles away.

As Mr. Peter DeLorenzo says, all kinds of notsogood.com. I knew from previous experience that Brian liked to let people go mid week so that the, now former, employee didn't fret about it all weekend long. Being the highest paid employee at this satellite showroom, I knew my days were numbered as the economy was continuing to tank and the construction industry was being especially affected.

Sure enough, a little later on that Tuesday morning, this olelongrooffan was cleaning out his desk while Brian was trying to make me feel better. "At least you can collect unemployment," was one of his ways of doing so. I told him that I held no ill will towards him after all, it is just business. I am just sorry that I did not succeed for you. He replied the deck was stacked against me as the prior management didn't penetrate the market in Slocala while business was booming.

As an aside, I agree. You can't put an unemployed used car salesman, also a brother in law, in charge of cold selling construction related products, I don't care what the market is. Nuff said.

So this olelongrooffan is unemployed and a call was placed to thejeepjunkie to apprise him of the situation.

"Whatcha gonna do longroof?"

"Well, jeepjunkie, I have absolutely no idea. I can't afford to move back to FantasyLand and this place sucks." Yeah when you are a BMW convertible driving, oxford shirt, slacks, and black loafer, no socks wearing dude, a farming community, no matter how upscale, is not the best place to reside.

"longroof, move over here to The Birthplace of Speed. As you say, Something Will Come Up, It Always Does."

And I did.

That weekend, this olelongrooffan road tripped the 69 miles, yes, really, 69 miles, to Ormond Beach and just drove around looking for the Taj Mahal. I finally found it and convinced Bert into letting me move in and the owner agreed with Bert's selection of me as a member of the Ocean Villas Village community.

So this longrooffan moved to the Taj Mahal, just two short blocks from the Atlantic Ocean here in Ormond Beach, Florida. I divested myself of most of the furnishings of the 2,600 square foot 3 bedroom, 2 bath, formal living/dining room with a sun porch home I had sold prior to getting that two story condo to move into the 600 square foot 1 bedroom, 1 bath with an efficiency style kitchen/living room condo affectionately known as the Taj Mahal. Now you Counters know.

But there is always an ocean breeze.

See, that is just how I choose to Celebrate Life. Always an ocean breeze. There is one now with a bit of a chill in the air.

So here this olelongrooffan was, living Beachside, still unemployed, but able to have a couple great roadtrips in 2008, parlay a paid for Volvo 850 for yet another desirable E30 ragtop with a few bucks to boot, snatch my olestationbus for a bit of automotive excitement, attend a bunch of events out at the Daytona International Speedway as well as down at the Daytona Beach Bandshell and beach. Plus, I got to pick up the Indian.

However, the bottom line is still unemployed.

Sure I have been able to snag a few jobs with Manuel Labor here and there. But h*ll Counters, this olelongrooffan is going to be 51 years young shortly and working with Manuel is fun and all but dang he works me hard. Plus my gross income in 2009 was less than $14,000.00. And remember, my daughter Jessica's support payment was over $6,000 of that measly $14K. Well justified, but still.

One of the activities this olelongrooffan has enjoyed is visiting thejeepjunkie at his Goodyear store down in Daytona Beach. Manuel Labor and I have spent some time there and I have always been treated well by thejeepjunkie's coworkers. Of course, the occassional accompanyment of a couple pizzas when I visited there provided further assistance to my generous treatment.

One of the things thejeepjunkie likes to do is let this olelongrooffan engage his clients in conversation while he goes off to work his magic to get things done so those clients are satisfied with the service his location supplies.

This olelongrooffan has done so on several occasions with, along with many others, those guys who drive those black and tan cars, as well as, the drivers of Daytona Beach's finest, private customers of his firm and the Bethune-Cookman University.

One of the members of the latter category is known round these parts as Mr. Williams. Mr. Williams has his firm's vehicles, as well as his personal vehicles, serviced by thejeepjunkie.

I first met him about eighteen months ago and we chatted about my employment situation then. We met again several months later and further discussed the opportunities for employment in a county that has a 14% unemployment rate.

Mr. Williams runs a firm, Gourmet Services, Inc., that contracts with Bethune-Cookman University, as well as several other colleges in the northeast part of the state of Florida, to run their food services division.

Bethune-Cookman University is one of several colleges in the greater Daytona Beach area. It is a private college with a predominately African-American student body. Very affluent students, excellent football team and well thought of in this area.

A couple Saturdays ago, this olelongrooffan was working with Mr. Happy on Bert's car down at thejeepjunkie's shop. Mr. Williams was having the wheel bearings replaced on his boat trailer by members of thejeepjunkie's staff.

While Mary, the new owner of Bert's car, was out for a test drive, thejeepjunkie, Mr. Williams and this olelongrooffan were shooting the breeze.

"Your brother got a job yet?" Mr. Williams asks thejeepjunkie.

"Just doing some odd jobs here and there," was his response.

Mr. Williams looks me right in the eye, "Well, I'll fix that." And he grabs his cell off his belt and makes a phone call.

This olelongrooffan can hear him talking to the other end.

"I'm standing here looking at JJ's replacement," he says.

He hands the phone to me and I am talking to the catering manager for Gourmet Services, Inc., a Miss Courtney.

She tells me to come in around 10 on Monday morning to fill out some "for hire" paperwork.

Well Counters, you know that at 10 o'clock sharp on the morning of September 13, 2010, this olelongrooffan was entering the office of Gourmet Services down there on that Bethune-Cookman campus.

Miss Courtney was out at an event and I explained my directive to Miss Brenda, the lady behind the other desk in that office. As soon as I mentioned Mr. Williams name, Miss Roberts came out from her sub-office and this olelongrooffan related to her that Mr. Williams told me to come on down and fill out some paperwork. She certainly looked surprised but gave me an application to complete.

I stepped out to a table in the cafeteria, completed it and returned it to her. She looked it over and made the comment, "You used to making some big dollars."

"Yes Maam, but that was a whole economy ago."

She then left the office and returned a short time later and gave me the "for hire" paperwork.

I completed it and Miss Brenda told me to call Miss Courtney in a couple days.

And on Wednesday, I did. She commented she was still waiting for Corporate to respond.

And later that day, one week ago, as thejeepjunkie and this olelongrooffan were sitting on the veranda of the Taj Mahal, the massive communications system lights up and it turns out it is Miss Courtney. She is calling to confirm this olelongrooffan is approved for employment with Gourmet Services, Inc. and I should report at 11:00 on Thursday morning to begin my first steady employment in 795 days.

Yeah, now you got the title, By The Numbers.

So, at no time during this series of interviews and meetings, did I ask what my job was or my rate of pay.

Because you know what? It doesn't matter, I have a job!

But don't think it is glamorous.

I'm turning 51 one week from today and I am a dishwasher for Bethune-Cookman University.

But you know what?

I don't care, at least I have a job!

And my rate of pay?

$7.50 per hour.

I don't care, at least I have a job!

But a lot of good those four years of college and a degree in Geography are doing me now.

But at least I have a job!

There are several really cool aspects of being the "token" white person in the all African-American staff this olelongrooffan works with.

They all call me Mr. John. I'm not sure why as they don't refer to the other co-workers, other than management, as "Mr." or "Miss".

Everyone, without exception, is a blast to work with and they all like to joke around but get the job done.

Although my hours are 6:00 am to 2:30 pm, it is nice as it resets a routine with the hours this olelongrooffan is used to from my construction related days.

So, this olelongrooffan has been there for a full week, I am off on Thursdays and Sundays so I get two Fridays a week!

I have also fixed a broken display on the highly popular Fanta Orange pop dispenser, read the directions on how to clean the ovens in the kitchen thus making that job a lot easier (it's all about heat), reinstalled a shield on the dishwasher so my coworker, Cat, who likes all things with that name, doesn't have wet feet while working that dishwasher and this olelongrooffan can get ice for that pop machine so quickly that I am nominated every time that experience is required.

And I don't mind, at least I have a job.

Today, my coworker, Cat, was showing the Big Boss, Miss Roberts, the repairs I had made to the dishwasher and the leaking drain under the "dish sink" and told her, in front of me, that this olelongrooffan should be over in the facilities maintenance department.

I looked at Cat and Miss Roberts and said, "Well, today, I am washing dishes," as this olelongrooffan headed back to that dirty dish inducing "wheel" that, I would suspect, feels like a Detroit assembly line, in that it never stops!

As usual, thejeepjunkie has the inside scoop.

When Miss Roberts left that office on that fateful Monday, she marched into Mr. Williams office and stated, "We can't hire this boy, he is used to making to much money!"

Mr. Williams stated, "Just hire him, he will work out fine."

I later found out from thejeepjunkie that Mr. Williams had stopped by thejeepjunkie's shop, that Monday, to pick up his boat key.

While there he mentioned that this olelongrooffan had done as expected and "I'll let him collect a couple paychecks washing dishes then I'll get him moved over to facilities maintenance where he'll do a great job."

Well Counters, this olelongrooffan is paying his dues and my calves and *ss muscles ache like nobody's business and I sure hope those couple of paychecks come really soon.

But know this, the fact I have a job, regardless of what it is, really lets this olelongrooffan

Celebrate Life.