Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Ya Know Who Drives Me Crazy?

MORONS!!!

I have to tell you, I usually see the world through rose colored glasses with a glass is half full kind of attitude...I mean, unemployed for over a year, my daughter lives in a town a long long way from me, my sister in law bitches about the brief time I get to spend with her husband, my brother, my savings are flying out the window trying to keep me in tune with the net and my daughter's texting, although, realistically, she keeps it real economical for me, but, you get the idea, Life Could Suck, but it just doesn't.....it might in the future but for now, all is well...

Now I know that every one in this world can't be as Smart As The CDM, but honestly, how can these idiots continue to get by in Life.

You probably know who I am talking about, the CDM has bitched about them before and I have thought of them often.

Hell, I cuss them out regularly while travelling in the olestationbus.

However, in an attempt to keep Jack, who I am sure is a nice person, in check, I provide this....

Down here in the Birthplace of Speed, the Powers That Be allow us mere plebeians to drive our locally registered automobiles down on that hard packed sand beach that attracted our automotive pioneering ancestors some many years ago.

And, while there are plenty of pros and cons about driving on our fair beach, as long as the gubbermnt tells me it is okay, I will do so.....

So, having said that, while driving north and south on this Atlantic beach, we automobile drivers have to maintain the "Driving Lanes" and should we venture outside them, we get the local walking "Traffic Maintenance Staff", ......read bored old retirees....telling me to get back in the "Traffic Lanes".....but they seem to forget, they are walking in the traffic lanes and that is why I am driving outside the traffic lanes because I don't want to, but would really like to, run their sorry asses over....

Can You Say MORON?

So, anyway, this is the width of the Daytona Beach, on a normal low tide day...

Lots of room for the beach bunnies to the east and the beach drivers to the west, up against those lime green post warning us that sea turtles nest to the up beach side of these posts and DO NOT VIOLATE THEIR TERRITORY!!!!

So we don't.

But then you have all of these MORONS invading my space. I mean, I have only 20' of two lane beachway and you have the whole GD'med rest of the Beach...do you really need my paid for little bit of it????

And the pants hanging of their ass dudes in the above shot? I should have run over your sorry asses just for walking in the middle of the street, skin color Be Damned..>>You are Morons....

And so is this ole white mother f*cker....did you not even look at the traffic coming your way...

and to the stupid Mom and Dad who let a kid dig a hole in the middle of my beach path, What, do ya let this kid play in the potholes down on Oak Street also?

Now I have to say, the fact I can bitch about all this and still enjoy a life saving drive on the beach, yeah, it allows me to

Celebrate Life.

Thanks CDL, hope to see you here next week....longrooffan ....

Just For Drivelling Deb

After surveying property along the New Hampshire and Maine border, some Engineers decided the boundaries needed to be changed.

So they stopped to tell a farmer that he was no longer in Maine but in New Hampshire.

"Good," said the farmer. "I couldn't take another one of those Maine winters."

Find her blog here.

Lou Costello Needs A Computer

When I was growing up, TheGentlemanFarmer loved to watch old Abbott and Costello movies and gigs. One of his favorites was "Who's On First!" I have alway loved that gig and think you will too.

Enjoy this modern day rendition of "Who's On First" and then enjoy the video, via YouTube, of the original.

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer, I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software...

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers.... What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START"....




A Shuttle For The Shuttle

So I have mentioned previously that thejeepjunkie and TheGoodAttorney drop by the Taj Mahal most every evening for Happy Hour. Tonite was no different.

Usually during Happy Hour, thejeepjunkie gets two or three calls from his shop to clarify some things that have transpired at his shop that day. Additionally, he almost always gets a call from thesungoddess regarding some matter or another. Tonite was no different.

The distinction was that, tonite, thesungoddess called from the beachside St. Brendan's school where she was picking up the Kid's sister from some event or another.

And the reason she called this time?

She spotted this flying south along the coast returning to Cape Canaveral.

thejeepjunkie and I got to see it fly by at probably no more than 1,500 feet in the air anticipating its landing just a short sixty miles south of here. It was so close we could make out the NASA badging on the side of that tailwing.

Sorry, no first hand photos, the Polaroid was out in the olestationbus and that duo was out of sight before I could get to it.

Just know it was super cool to see, a first time sighting for both thejeepjunkie and the olelongrooffan.

And all the while we continue to

Celebrate Life.

I Thought thehorsefarmer Would Enjoy This

A C-130 "Hercules"

cargo plane, an Air Force workhorse since 1954, was flying over the Persian Gulf on a mission when a cocky pilot in a

F-16 "Fighting Falcon" fighter flew up next to him.

The fighter jock got on the radio and told the C-130 pilot, "Watch this!" and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.

The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.

The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes, and then the C-130 pilot came back on the radio and said, "What did you think of that?"

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "I didn't see anything. What the hell did you do?"

The C-130 pilot chuckled, "I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a sweet roll."

That C-130 pilot sure knows how to

Celebrate Life.

Monday, June 1, 2009

A New Keyboard??

So I have a few year old Dell Inspiron 640m laptop on which I share my little portion of the world with you.

Well, a year or so ago, I was wiping off the keyboard and the shop towel I was using snagged a couple of keys and pulled the X and Z keys right off.

No problem, how often do you really use those keys anyway? I could still use those letters if I carefully placed these big knobs of fingers of mine in the correct location and still coax the X and Z to life on this olelaptop.

Then, I was doing the same thing a bit later and knocked the +/= key off it knoggin.

That kind of sucked as it was really difficult to do Excel applications. Yeah, those of you who work Excel often know the formulas rely heavily on the +/= keys and it really slowed down my programming of the application of that software.

So one nite, during Happy Hour with thejeepjunkie and TheGoodAttorney, I was lamenting the fact of the deterioration of my keyboard and what a b*tch it was to, rapidly, get it to accommodate my wishes.

So, TheGoodAttorney throws down the Guantlet, "Hell," he says, "just get a keyboard off ebay and hook it up."

"Yeah, like I have that knowledge." I can barely replace the radiator hoses on the olestationbus, much less replace a keyboard on the oldlaptop.

So what does TheGoodAttorney do?

He shows up with a replacement keyboard for this oleunemployedconstructionworker's laptop and instructs me to hook it up.

So I start to achieve this endeavor and thejeepjunkie, out of total frustration, removes my laptop from, well, my lap, and proceeded to install that new keyboard, under the tutelage of TheGoodAttorney, the olelongrooffan be d*mned, and then they take bets on how soon take olekeyboard will be garage art at the Taj Mahal.....about 29 seconds...

and it is SH*T like this that lets me

Celebrate Life.

Yeah, We Had Some Rain

So, a couple of posts ago, I commiserated with myself over a bunch of stuff that, now, just a week or so later seems so trivial that I nearly deleted that post in its entirety. However, as I sometimes reread my posts, I decided to leave it up so that I can review it at will and realize what a real wimp I was and then be able to vow to never be that wimpy again. By the way, thanks to all who commented and emailed your encouragement, it sure helped. the Bus's comment was most noteworthy and thanks also to the Dirt Sister for your note.

So anyway, things seem to be coming together for the olelongrooffan. Last month, I remodeled TheGoodAttorney's kitchen. What a job that was!! He decided he wanted a cooktop in a freestanding island in his new kitchen. And did he want an overhead exhaust fan? Not just no, but H*ll No!! So this oleunemployed construction worker had to cut the 30 year old concrete slab and excavate under the 24" deep concrete footer and stemwall to run a 6" metal exhaust pipe to vent the required downdraft vent contained within that cooktop. Not alot of fun but as TheGoodAttorney told me numerous times during Happy Hour at the Taj Mahal, "Thanks for tearing up my house." It was fun.

Well, anyway, a buddy of his is in the screen enclosure business and hooked us up with a local cabinet company. I met with the rep from that firm and just didn't get a good feel from him. Nothing personal, but that personality mix so necessary for success was just not there. Anyway, I shopped his numbers and ended up over at another local company, Kitchens of the World. I walked into their showroom and just felt so comfortable. Judy walked up to me and we started chatting and she said she was sorry but Dan the Man was busy and started apologizing for that fact. I interupted her and said 'Hey, your sales guy is busy and has another potential client waiting, don't be sorry, be happy.' Well it turns out Judy and her husband own the place and we struck up a conversation and the time passed quickly waiting for Dan the Man to become available. Well, Dan and I came up with a design and his numbers came in at 20% less than the other dude's and Dan's numbers included the granite top of TheGoodAttorney's choosing. Needless to say, that association and its resulting installation went off without a hitch. I even talked TheGoodAttorney into buying the good Bosch dishwasher from them.

So, as a result of this successful transaction, Dan the Man has hooked me up with the coordination of a couple more kitchen remodels for clients of his. Yeah, almost a real job!! I have to meet with Manuel Labor more than I would like but at least it is a few bucks coming in!! Plus, once we are able to get into a high rise condo, the gigs just keep on coming.

I am in the middle of an install up in Flagler Beach, about 25 minutes, in the olestationbus, north of the Birthplace of Speed, on the 12th floor of a high rise condo. Whenever I haul a load of drywall debris down to the basement to load in the olestationbus, I carry a wisk broom and a dustpan to sweep up any chunks of drywall or dust that may fall out of the shopping cart during transportation. Once, when I was doing so in the elevator, it stopped and an older female got on board and saw me sweeping it up. She commented that no contractor had ever done that before and 'Thank you so much.' "All in a day's work" was my response. The building super came up to the condo I was working on to relay his happiness at my ongoing cleanup. I have a feeling there are great things to come up there at the Aliki Tower.

So in that sorry *ssed post I did about the low point in my life, I commented about my allergic reaction to that cheap medicine I picked up down at Walgreens and how it affected my kidneys. Well, thanks to thehorsefarmer's excellent advice, all is cleared up now and I am back to my old self. Yeah I was a bit worried at the time but as thehorsefarmer and the Bus related to me, 'You are going to die, just not today'. Thanks big brothers.

Anyway, I know I have returned to my old self because of what is shown in the following image.

I was in the olestationbus in the oleragtop driving down A1A up there in Flagler Beach and I noticed this old Right of Way marker in front of this cool old house and had to whip a Ueeee and get a shot of it for those of you Counting Along With Me. It is cool old things like this that peak my interest and it seems I am always on the lookout for them to share with you. I like this image due to the juxtaposition of the natural palmetto fronds to the left and the mural of the fronds painted on the wall to the right, along with that old marker out front. One day, this olelongrooffan will be able to afford more than a $50 Polaroid to get a crisp image of it, but for now, this will have to do. Anyway, here is a shot

of the entire, almost wall, along with the cool old house that wall surrounds. It is located on the east side of A1A, across the street from the beach and, I think, it is a B&B, and a d*mn nice piece of architecture, that is for sure.


So, as I mentioned in that self pitying post, we had something like 37" of rain in five days and it was, at the time, near tropical storm conditions, just not as much fun.

Well, I didn't get any images of this storm as I was feeling like cr*p and didn't even want to leave the Taj Mahal. I did, however, get some images the last real day of that quagmire and decided to post a few for your pleasure.

Of course, before we get to the storm images, I had to include this image to remind thejeepjunkie that those favorite four letter words he enjoys (free, cold, beer) are not allowed on the beach up there in Flagler County. And as far as hazards, thesungoddess would prefer the Kid and the Kid's sister never went into the Atlantic Ocean, there are sharks out there after all.

Earlier in the week, I had gotten an image of these Hobie Cats leading a field of 25 more on a race from Key West to Savannah. It was pretty cool and it would have been even cooler had the image I got of the next 25 not been so blurry. This was shot the day prior to the rains beginning.

The following is a shot of the Flagler Beach pier.

And just out from this beach access point. Those farthest breakers are about 12 feet in height and not good for surfing at all, as the Kid let me know.

Check out the palm trees to the right in this image. Yeah, it was a real blow. Those knowledgeable locals down on the beach are in jeans and windbreakers!

And know, while there is no water over the road to be seen in this shot, it was prevalent up and down A1A that week.

And now, lets move inland five miles to the Daytona International Speedway.

The above image is taken from the backstretch looking across the infield to the front stretch grandstands.

This is the "new" tunnel under turn 1. That tunnel is large enough for racecar transporters to drive through. That is when there is not 5 feet of water in it. That railing to the left borders a sidewalk I utilized last winter for access to one of the events I attended.

And this is the backstretch of that Speedway. Those things that might look like buildings in the background are actually timing lights and yellow light warnings just outside the SAFAR barrier wall.

You can check out more about the flooding at the Daytona International Speedway, by checking this report out.

Oh, and on the way back to the Taj Mahal from that project up in Flagler Beach, the day I got those images, the surf had washed some of A1A away and a detour had been set up to bypass the construction zone. While I was unable to get any shots of the washout, yeah that Cop looked pretty menacing, I was able to get an image of my dream.

A big *ss motor coach and a three car garage.

What more is needed?

And it is knowing that I am healthy, still not on Twitter, the rains have gone and a brighter future that continues to allow me to

Celebrate Life.